amazon
Click here to read everything or to PRINT this entry!
- posted by Me! @ 4/17/2007 12:59:00 PM |

 
another cool garmin
Click here to read everything or to PRINT this entry!
- posted by Me! @ 1/14/2007 08:59:00 PM |

 
December, Already?
Wow.. It is so hard to believe how fast this year has come and nearly gone! I don't know if any of you feel the same way, but this has been one of the fastest years on record!

Of course it has been a very nice year as well, and therefore that has helped it to go even faster!

I have been busy this year. Feeling better makes me so happy.

I worry about my nephew who has been ill. I worry about my Dad who has been depending on him, and counting on him to learn the ropes.

The holidays are coming and I am looking forward to them. There is something special in the season and I just love creating special things for the ones I love.

Today, I repotted my plant Pedro, and named my split-leaf philodendron Diego. Pedro got his name several years ago when B3 put him on the deck and neglected to tell me that he had done so. It was summer and by the time I figured out where the plant was, the poor plant was so sunburned, so I named him Pedro. Today, when repotting the philodendron, I realized how unfair it was that Pedro had a name, but he didn't. Thus, he got a name, Diego. I hope they both thrive in their new pots. We'll see how they do come tomorrow! Click here to read everything or to PRINT this entry!
- posted by Me! @ 11/30/2006 09:33:00 PM |

 
Garmin Nuvi 350 GPS
Oh dear... look at what Walmart has on special. Dang I can't believe all the great prices that are out there for the Garmins. This is an exceptional bargain.



The Garmin Nuvi 350 is a portable GPS navigator, traveler's reference and digital entertainment system in one. Combined with detailed maps, the Nuvi 350 provides automatic routing, turn-by-turn voice directions, an MP3 player, JPEG picture viewer, world travel clock, currency converter and more.

Please Note: A windshield mount is included with this GPS unit. Some states regulate use of the windshield mount. Please check with your state laws to ensure you are compliant. In states that prohibit use of the windshield mount, a dashboard mount (also included) may be required to use this GPS unit.

* High-sensitivity integrated GPS receiver by SiRF
* WAAS-enabled; flip-up antenna includes MCX-type connector for optional external GPS antenna connection
* Preloaded with City Navigator NT v.7; includes detailed maps of U.S., Canada and Puerto Rico (no downloading required)
* Travel kit includes Language Guide, MP3 player, audible book player, picture viewer, world clock, currency and measurement converters, and calculator
* Approximately 700 MBs of internal memory for storage of supplemental maps, MP3s, and audio books included
* SD memory card expansion slot
* Powerful built-in speaker
* Traffic alerts with optional GTM 10 FM TMC traffic receiver*
* Text-to-Speech unit prompts you to "Turn right on Main St." instead of "Turn right in 500 feet"
* Audible and visual navigation instructions and warnings
* Optional software packages such as the Language Guide and Travel Guide (sold separately on SD Data cards) can be added for language and content support
* Offers a three dimensional mapping perspective, or 2-D overhead view
* Display: 2.8" W x 2.1" H (3.5" diag.), 320 x 240 pixels; bright, TFT display, 64K colors, with white backlight and touch screen
* Unit dimensions: 3.87"W x 2.91"H x 0.87"D (98.3mm x 73.9mm x 22.1mm) fits easily in a pocket or purse
* Weight: 5.1 oz (144.6 grams)
* Built-in lithium-ion battery
* Between 4-8 hours of battery life, depending on use
* Includes 12-volt power adapter cable for external power while in your vehicle
* Includes suction cup mount that allows for easy adjustment and quick release
* Includes an adhesive dashboard mount disk

*Traffic services available only in select cities where RDS-TMC coverage exists. Requires the GTM 10 FM TMC traffic receiver and subscription fee to enable traffic capability. Click here to read everything or to PRINT this entry!
- posted by Me! @ 11/30/2006 09:16:00 PM |

 
Perfect Turkey Day aka Practice Makes Perfect
Wow.. I'm still flying high after a great Thanksgiving day. We spent a very quite evening alone and it was just perfect. Dinn din was good and the company was, as usual, the best. My mood is excellent, It seems like I have never felt better. Click here to read everything or to PRINT this entry!
- posted by Me! @ 11/24/2006 04:49:00 AM |

 
My new Amazon Store
Well.. I'm fiddling around with this Amazon thing.

So far here's what I have. If you need anything from Amazon, please feel free to use my link!

http://astore.amazon.com/wildpetals05-20 Click here to read everything or to PRINT this entry!
- posted by Me! @ 11/18/2006 06:40:00 PM |

 
Garmin StreetPilot 2720 Portable Color GPS Navigation System, Traffic Ready
For Susie and Paul.... And anyone else who is looking for a fabulous GPS!

Garmin StreetPilot 2720 Portable Color GPS Navigation System, Traffic Ready

The Garmin satellite for GPS is hard to beat according to my friend Susan who works on satellites for the government. So when I went on the market to look for a GPS, I found some excellent deals on the Amazon site. This one is the first choice I wanted to buy, especially since it is "traffic ready" which means you can subscribe to a service which will tell you about traffic jams that are on your path! That is slicK! I really wanted this one, but did get the one listed below. I know people with both. So, for my friends Susie and Paul, this is the link to the product that they like best. This one will actually say the street, instead of saying left turn ahead. That is exceptionally cool as well!

Susie... here's the one you like a little better.

Click here to read everything or to PRINT this entry!
- posted by Me! @ 11/18/2006 11:47:00 AM |

 
Garmin StreetPilot c320 GPS Vehicle Navigator - THE BEST Thing I've ever bought!

Garmin StreetPilot c320 GPS Vehicle Navigator

This is the most fantastic thing I have ever purchased for myself!!! Not only does this Garmin StreetPilot c320 GPS Vehicle Navigator get me where I need to go, it alerts you when to turn, it tells you exactly how to go, you can save favorite addresses, you can look up places such as "old navy" and see how far they are from your current location (and what direction they are from you), it displays the phone numbers of businesses, gives excellent and clear directions and wow, I wonder how come I didn't do this before NOW? Had it a few weeks now and sheez..... it is absolutely amazing. The price is incredible, under 300 bucks. You do need to get the Garmin Dash Mount for StreetPilot c320 (shown below) as well. In California, you are not allowed to mount the GPS on your window. I got this seat mount and it sits very nicely on the seat next to me, or even in the glove compartment!

I am so thrilled with my purchase... Now my little Corolla can get me anywhere I need to go!! Click here to read everything or to PRINT this entry!
- posted by Me! @ 11/17/2006 08:36:00 PM |

 
Panasonic TH-42PX60U 42" Plasma HDTV Under $1400.00
Goodness, I have news on an amazing HDTV deal. Amazon.com has the Panasonic TH-42PX60U 42" Plasma HDTV for well under $1400.00. But what makes this deal so hot is that it also includes FREE SHIPPING as well as NO SALES TAX!
You may have seen that Walmart.com carried this model last week for over $1,400, plus shipping and plus sales tax, so
this deal from Amazon.com is extremely HOT! PlasmaTVBuyingGuide.com gives this model a very high rating of 95.5
out of 100. Why wait in line on Black Friday when you can have this great plasma HDTV delivered to your home for
absolutely free, and get an amazing deal - these won't last long, so place your order at Amazon right now by
clicking here:

Click here to read everything or to PRINT this entry!
- posted by Me! @ 11/13/2006 12:20:00 AM |

 
Happy! Happy!!! Joy Joy!
Things are going well on this end. I met a woman named Teresa Smith Friday who is very nice and we made instant friends. It was nice. She and I seem to be living a parallel life. :)

Today my honey and I are off to a concert, then dinner and stuff. So I have a lot to look forward to.
I hope everyone is doing well. Click here to read everything or to PRINT this entry!
- posted by Me! @ 11/05/2006 10:32:00 AM |

 
Concert!
Well, while I'm so busy I can't seem to catch my breath, we did manage to catch a wonderful concert yesterday. How good is that!! I tell you it was a perfect day! The audience was jam packed too!! Amazing. :) Dave Wickerham gave his best and really, I think the audience was stunned. Afterward we had a yummy dinner with Dave, and many other of the board members. I am so damn happy!!! Then we headed off for a tour, took Dave back to his hotel. Man... this was a great way to start the new week! We crashed on the sofa,, so tired from all the events of the day..... Then I had to head back. The day was just too damn short! But it was wonderful! Click here to read everything or to PRINT this entry!
- posted by Me! @ 9/11/2006 08:35:00 AM |

 
Been busy!
Well.. I can't say it has been a quiet time in my life. Finally decided to get rid of my land line, so now I only have my cell. It is too darn expensive to keep 2 phone lines, for like what reason! So, I've gone cellular 100%! Don't blame me if we can't reach each other! hehehe

Been taking care of a kid who needs some help lately. It's been a good gig! :)

Life is good and my honey is as amazing as ever! I am blessed and very happy. Click here to read everything or to PRINT this entry!
- posted by Me! @ 9/01/2006 12:17:00 AM |

 
Whelp, she died
My hairdresser died today.

I saw her wednesday and she was not doing so well. Her boyfriend had told her he loved someone else and broke up with her after 8 years. I knew as soon as I went in something was wrong. Firstly she just seemed dark. She wasn't teary or anything. Just not bubbly... and energetically something was off. I asked her how she was doing and she said fine. However, she smelled like booze. She was drunk. I then asked about the name on her license, which turned out to be her boyfriends name. She owned the place with him. Anyhow, then she told me the sad story. They broke up, bla bla. She was distraught. I said.. hey... no matter how much you love someone, you have to love yourself more. You cant hurt yourself. I told that to my xbf once, "no matter how much I love you, I love me more." and it was true.

How do people get to the point that Kimberly did? I gave her all the wisdom I could hear in my head and told her to put a sign on the mirror that says "its all for you". Your life is for you. Live it. Don't destroy it because someone made a different choice.

She told me how much it helped her to hear my positive and encouraging words. She wished I could be a little birdie sitting on her shoulder reminding her. She seemed so up. But, within 48 hours of when I saw her, she was driving drunk.

A guy pulled up beside her yesterday and said hey lady, you're weaving all over the place. She said, yea..... cuz i'm drunk. Apparently within a very short distance she ran into some parked cars. Her car must have been going fast, as it flipped in the air and she was ejected, (not having her seat belt on) and landed on her head. She wiped out her brains and was on life support from 10pm Friday to 8am this morning when she passed away.

My friend Traci told me, she came by today on her way out to tell me the news. I was very sad and wondered if I had done enough. I saw it coming. It is weird how some people will go to such disasterous extremes with their lives. It is a sad day. I'm sorry for her kids (adults now). Her son especially, since she spoiled him terribly... now I guess he will really have the pink slip to his life. Maybe that is the good thing that will come out of this.

God bless you Kimberly. Click here to read everything or to PRINT this entry!
- posted by Me! @ 8/12/2006 07:39:00 PM |

 
Learning Japanese - robbed by two men
This is possibly the weirdest video I've seen in a long time!

This is some kind of Japanese instructional workout video that allows women to learn english while staying in shape. Why they chose to use this particular set of phrases is beyond me. But in someway it is hypnotizing. I could get into the exuberant chanting of seldomly used phrases if they had this for english speakers trying to learn japanese.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UE5-EORgjno Click here to read everything or to PRINT this entry!
- posted by Me! @ 8/12/2006 08:25:00 AM |

 
another Saturday! YEY
Oh I'm taking a break from getting ready for tonight. It has been a nice day, complete with lots of fun with the little girls next door. The weather has finally let up and we have a lovely cool breeze here. Tonight I am making chicken reilianno (gosh i don't know how to spell that!) along with spanish rice, peas, fresh corn off the cob and a host of other yummies.

It has been a busy week and more busy to come. It's all good though.

My woofie has been on my mind a lot. Pretty much my dreams have been void of animals, except for the one a month or so a go where Miskers was there. I wonder why they come and go? I am fascenated by dreams and the comings and goings of repeating themes. I wish I could find something that was reliable talking about dreams and meanings.

Well back to my cooking.

have a wonderful day everyone! Click here to read everything or to PRINT this entry!
- posted by Me! @ 8/05/2006 04:39:00 PM |

 
I own Malibu - Mel Gibson
Sheez, how big of an ass can one person make of themselves? Well let me refine that, one drunken ass fool. The Drunk Mel Gibson. Here is a mighty fine specimine of humanity.

The people of Malibu must be mortified... Maybe they all own Malibu???? Hell I say, I OWN MALIBU, check it out. Click here to read everything or to PRINT this entry!
- posted by Me! @ 8/04/2006 12:39:00 AM |

 
The heat is on-- It is a wonderful life... missing my Aunt
I guess everyone around the country is in the middle of a huge heat wave. I live a mile from the ocean and normally our weather is about 15-20 degrees cooler than inland, which is a blessing. But this this heat wave even affects MEEEEEE!! So I have joined the club. :)

Last Sunday, I flew to Sunnyvale for one day. Well that is how my week started anyhow. I was supposed to return Sunday night or Monday morning. But when I was there we realized that there was a lot of stuff that needed to be done. So I stayed up there this past week.

I had so many contractors come over and give us estimates of fixing certain things in her house. There were 2 major deals here. Back in November, she repainted her house. OMG! It was adorable, but.... the colors on the walls downstairs were FRENCHES MUSTARD YELLOW and CANDY APPLE RED! See she loved chilli peppers and that was her motif.. However if someone were to live in that house now, just walking in there is a fright! So bright and um.... not the most attractive colors in an empty house. And upstairs, there is some kind of super bright robins egg blue in on e of the rooms!! YEIKS. Thankfully her bedroom is a light butterscotch. So... we got 2 estimates to change the paint. One for 1500.00, and the other for 2100.00. We're going with the 2100.00 guy. He was so organized, explained his process in great detail, takes great pride in his work, and he says he won't take a penny until we are happy. Our realtor has used him for 20 years. His name is Sam.

My Aunt put bamboo flooring in the den and kitchen which is very lovely and a cream/white carpet in the 2 sets of stairs in the house and living room... Upstairs is a berber carpet. The downstairs and 2 flights of stairs was reacarpeted in November 05. HOWEVER, some fool sprayed it and walked all over it with motor oil? I have no idea how a 50 year old and 87 year old men could stain carpeting so terribly. It is just unbelievable. The first carpet cleaner said that he could not guarantee removal. There are huge shoe prints (BLACK) in the middle of the room. Not tracked from the side where they would have had to come in to do that. Nor were the stairs covered in oil (massivly) which is where they would have walked from.. or even the entry way from the front door, which leads me to believe it was intentional. I think her boyfriend's (the 87 year old) son was upset that since my aunt passed, his dad had to move in with him. They also took her purses and a lot of her cool stuff. My aunt took good care of her boyfriendfor over 20 years and it really irks me that they would treat her with so little respect. But, you know the son is a low life. (clearly).

My aunt was a huge smoker, but because she painted everything, you couldn't tell. Except in the kitchen. We were going to demo the kitchen and put a new kitchen in because the cabinets were so horrible. But I decided to work on them and wow, after 5 times cleaning them, they finally started coming around. The oak trim was coated in nicotine, and the white cabinets were covered in a brownish sheen, which really appreciated the washings! The nicotine is so sticky and gumy, and after 20 years of being imbued in nicotine air, it could not help but land somewhere! It was so gross.

Sunday night I met a nice lady Rosie at the restaurant I went to. We talked for quite awhile and I got some phone numbers for contractors from her. Then there were these two guys sitting next to me that ordered this clam dish, and they insisted I try it. It was quite yummy. So I decided when I came back, I'd order that.

The estimates started on Tuesday. I had a guy come by to tell us how much it would cost to extend the bamboo flooring through the living room (in case the carpet won't clean), and HOLY maceral, the room is roughly 13x22, and installed at 8 bux a square foot! Plus, trying to match the bamboo, is kinda a hard task.

Wednesday I went to a carpet place over in Cupertino and decided to go to the Cheesecake Factory for a burger. So I sat down and soon another lady came by and she was alone too. Well, we ended up yacking up a storm and making plans for dinner the next night! She was from Colorado (Denver area) and we share the same name. I left her contact info with my boyfriend and told him if I disappeared, here is her cell number, and..... to only put my picture on the back of ORGANIC milk cartons!

Laura told her husband about me and he thought she was nuts!

Thursday more people came by to do estimates, and I had my dinner date with my new friend. She was staying in the Biltmore down in Santa Clara, so I met her there. Then we decided instead of going to this one place, we would go to San Francisco. So we had a lovely dinner, a great walk on the fisherman's wharf boardwalk. She found a cute outfit for her granddaughter and I found something fun for my bf! We got home about 11pm, both of us were tired. I drove back to my Aunt's and promptly feell asleep!

I spent Friday morninug packing the car up, and waiting for the carpet guy to get there! He was about an hour late. So he came on Friday and used his special enzymes. It did look extremely good, we'll see if the spots reappear! We don't want to inflict those stains on anyone who may move in next. So I guess we will replace the carpet if it doesn't stay gone. It took so long to clean that little carpet that I didn't get out of there till rush hour, which sucked!! (Left at 4pm)

In a nutshell...

I spent a week up there, in an empty house (save for one twin bed) and a chair in the livingroom - until Thursday when even that went bye-bye! , not even a table left!! B1 and B2 came on Thursday for a few hours to move the remaining dressers, etc. They got there at 9 and 10, and were gone by 1:30.

I did spend a lot of time thinking of my Aunt, and sensing her presence. There was a lot of sadness for me, since I really wish we had more time together. I am glad I spent the time in her house though.

Thankfully she did have AC so I finally wised up on Wednesday and started the AC. Unfortunately, when I left Friday I left the AC on!! So.... I called Joan, her friend up there who happens to have a key, and come to find out, the carpet cleaner locked the inside screen!!! So no one can get in the house. Someone is going to try today to remove the screen door from the hinges... So I sure hope that happens because it is expensive to run the AC.

Leaving Sunnyvale the traffic was heavy, then cleared up, until outside Gilroy on the 152. It took 1hour 20 minutes to go 5 miles. Now it was 104 degrees, and to drive that slow, sucked mightily. After Casa de Fruita, there was no traffic.

I stopped at the Ranch and had some dinner (It is about 200 miles to LA from the Ranch) and ended up home about 1am. I had to unload the rental (which was a huggggggggge task being so exhausted and FRICKING HOT AT 1am!!! Then, I prepared my presentation for Saturday's meeting, (A powerpoint and screen shots of some of the stuff I was talking about.). Printed the presentation and went to bed for about 2.5 hours. Woke up at 5 and drove to LAX. Forgot to fill up the tank (I had just filled it 70 miles earlier), and ended up having to pay 15.00 for fuel (2 gallons). I pissed myself off that I forgot to fill the damn tank!! Then, to get my car!! 180 bux later, I was driving home for a one hour nap. Then up and at-em in heat that was unbelievable!!

I left my house at 8am and headed for the heart of the heat, Fullerton! The good thing is that I was going to the meeting with my bf, so it was a nice price to pay being a little hot, to getting to see him! I gave my presentation and had great support from everyone on the board, and especially my bf.

Afterward, he and I went to lunch and stuff, then I headed home to get dinner ready! He came over after doing some of the things he needed to do about 4 hours later for our usual Saturday. I made yummy filet and all kinds of vegies galore. We watched Date Movie which is probably one of the silliest movies made! There were so many funny moments in that movie but as a movie it is not what I'd call Oscar material!!! (DUH). I got to practice my massage routine too!! I couldn't for the life of me figure out why I was so tired, when I woke up this morning, then I remembered I only had a little sleep Saturday morning.

I was exhausted last night, but always energized by my bf. I never seem to feel tired when I'm with him.

Today is another busy day! I feel very happy and blessed. Even if it is frickin so hot here I could melt! But.... Love! Love!! Love!!! makes it all bearable! It sure is a wonderful life. Click here to read everything or to PRINT this entry!
- posted by Me! @ 7/23/2006 08:30:00 AM |

 
Gimme your stuff!
Ok ok..... so if anyone knows about gimmeyourstuff.blogspot.com you know that it is a way of introducting things to people who are looking for something unusual from all over the world, in exchange for something they're looking from your part of the world.

So here it is. I live near Los Angeles Airport, the beach (Manhattan Beach, Hermosa Beach, Redondo Beach, Palos Verdes) and have access to pretty much anything you want.

I am looking for unusual stuff from around the world. Being part sicilian, I really would love to find someone who knows how to make dodo's (Chocoloate dunking cookies with cinnamon, cloves, coffee and white dry icing on top). Also, interested in some holy water from healing places in the world such as Fatima, girl things, stuff from Harrods, things I can't get here. I don't know. Hit me up and tell me what you got, and we can go from there. I don't have a red paperclip though.... so don't even ask about that! :) Hey Thanks!! Click here to read everything or to PRINT this entry!
- posted by Me! @ 7/17/2006 09:12:00 PM |

 
I sure hope he is not in my bloodline

Gee wiz... what is our humanity coming to...

With people demonstrating this high level of intellect..... well I dare say we are doomed. This guy is named Stephen Smith. If you are related to him, I feel sorry for you. Click here to read everything or to PRINT this entry!
- posted by Me! @ 7/17/2006 08:03:00 PM |

 
World Jump Day - Yes I'm doing it..
World Jump Day

Yes I'm doing it...


AND YOU SHOULD TOO!!!

Check it out.. you must do it on July 20th at the exact right time!!! Click here to read everything or to PRINT this entry!
- posted by Me! @ 7/17/2006 08:01:00 PM |

 
saturday night! Coming up
Oh I've had such a lovely day preparing for tonight's dinner. All kinds of family crap going on so it is nice to have the diversion! Lets see.. I'm made homemade sauce last night for my yummy lasagna. Of course there are some yummy sides, and then I made a cake for desert. One of my friends said to me today after hearing about the food that she wants to be my boyfriend! lol What a silly goose. I told her to come on over and I'd cook for her too! And I won't be wanting her to put out either!!!

Tomorrow I fly to Sunnyvale to my Aunt's house. I have no idea what THAT will be like. My brothers will be there and they're all leaving around noon. So I'll be able to spend some time at Carol's alone, which is nice. I'm coming back Monday or Tuesday, depends on how I feel.

I have also been qujite busy working on some web stuff and learning photoshop.

I had a dream of miskers twice this week. But no sign of my woofie. I really wish to know what is going on with him. I went to the beach yesterday, it was so lovely and I had so many memories of woofie there. I used to take him to the strand and walk to manhattan beach all the time. It was like seeing ghosts there, as I recalled many things he and I did and funny dogs we would see.

Well my evening will be starting soon so I guess I should go primp and such and get myself ready! My flight leaves about 7:35 on southwest to san jose tomorrow morning, just in case you're tracking me. (No klingons please!!!)

I hope everyone is perfectly wonderful. Keep on Keepin on gang! Click here to read everything or to PRINT this entry!
- posted by Me! @ 7/15/2006 05:33:00 PM |

 
TV Watching while Driving????????
Ok, so I'm freaked out.

I went to Mexico and when coming back across the boarder.... there was a woman in the line with me watching TV while driving! Now I thought it was illegal for a TV to be mounted anywhere near the drivers view! For 45 minutes, I watched her watching the TV, nearly bumping into cars in front of her, etc. It was quite upsetting. When I finally got to the boarder- darn ready to enter the US at this point, considering it is so sad to see the beggers and the merchants, and the ladies using their childeren to beg, oh I digress- I told the boarder guard about the woman watching TV. Call me a tattle-tail. Call me whatever, but damn she was joining the same freeway I was going on!! Anyhow the guy reported it and well, who knows. But what kind of shit-for-brains person watches TV while driving? You know she doesn't do it in traffic only, which by the way is the worst time for accidents because people start diddling around with themself and stuff thinking they can do two things at once.

Baaaaaaaah!
Click here to read everything or to PRINT this entry!
- posted by Me! @ 6/29/2006 08:05:00 AM |

 
TV Watching while Driving????????
Ok, so I'm freaked out.

I went to Mexico and when coming back across the boarder.... there was a woman in the line with me watching TV while driving! Now I thought it was illegal for a TV to be mounted anywhere near the drivers view! For 45 minutes, I watched her watching the TV, nearly bumping into cars in front of her, etc. It was quite upsetting. When I finally got to the boarder- darn ready to enter the US at this point, considering it is so sad to see the beggers and the merchants, and the ladies using their childeren to beg, oh I digress- I told the boarder guard about the woman watching TV. Call me a tattle-tail. Call me whatever, but damn she was joining the same freeway I was going on!! Anyhow the guy reported it and well, who knows. But what kind of shit-for-brains person watches TV while driving? You know she doesn't do it in traffic only, which by the way is the worst time for accidents because people start diddling around with themself and stuff thinking they can do two things at once.

Baaaaaaaah!
Click here to read everything or to PRINT this entry!
- posted by Me! @ 6/29/2006 08:05:00 AM |

 
All about klingons
I am so frustrated this morning. I received yet another email from this guy who keeps writing even though I have stopped responding to his messages. In this email, he asks if he can come to my house for one of my super sandwiches. (HUH?) This guy knows I'm in a relationship, knows I haven't responded to any of his emails in over a year, (In fact, I haven't seen him in over 2 years), and I have had no interaction whatsoever with him. He, my dear readers is what I call a Klingon.

In a nutshell, Klingons are very aggressive and obsessive people. They don't take no for an answer. They are crafty and manipulative in their conversation and interactions with people, if you try to bring up a subject that they have difficulty with they will talk in circles and make you believe you are the person who is in the wrong. They are all about THEM, which is probably why you dumped them.(and if you read "The Gift of Fear" you'll find out just how scary people who don't take no for an answer are.)
They blame the people they fixate on for their situation in life, and frankly, this is very bizarre and not normal behavior, and certainly not socially acceptable.

I have a friend, Cecile who is a klingon. Her boyfriend broke up with her (albeit at a very bad time, after she was diagnosed with Breast Cancer), and he moved in with another woman. He did not contact her after they broke up. He didn’t call her, or have any dialogue with her in any way. But she kept on trying to talk to him. She called him all the time, sent messages, cards, etc. She would cry to me and say "why is he doing this to me? I love him, I know he loves me." I reminded her gently, well... he is living with another woman, and that it is his right. He is entitled to choose his life path, just as you are. But you have to realize he has moved on. You must too. You need grieve your loss and realize that this guy has made another choice; and look at the great things you have in your life. Your children (she has 3 grown kids), friends, family and recognize that your life goes on and you will, in time heal this emotional pain. He dumped you because you had cancer. Not the nicest thing to do to someone. It is good thing you found out before you married the guy.

She, unfortunately, continues (4 years later) to put this guy on a pedestal and seems oblivious that he is with this other woman. She continues to write him, call to say hi, be as annoying as hell. She doesn’t realize that for her own sanity, it would be much better for her to move the hell on. Will she? Who knows.

My youngest brother is also a Klingon. Holy moly. He's one of the worst. He dated this woman (oh God what is her name!!! I've heard it so many times the past 15 friggin years ooooooh ya, Amy. B3 supposedly loved Amy. Not sure if he did or did not, really, because Klingons aren't really about the other person, they are all about them. They are among most narcissistic people on the planet. Well B3, as anyone who reads this blog from time to time knows is very difficult. He's someone who does stuff begrudgingly. He'll go over the top in doing something for someone, because he wants the reaction, not because he wants to do it. So he has expectations placed upon anything he does. He's an alcoholic, and their tendencies are to blame other people for their situation. They rarely accept responsibility for their actions. They also obsess about people. To this day, B3 blames Amy for the horrible life he has. Now they broke up in 1994? Is his behavior after all this time normal? I think not. When he was homeless and lived with me, I observed that behavior in him. If he did one thing for me, in order for him to feel I responded appropriately I needed to do 100 things for. Now mind you, he was homeless and living in my house, at my cost, eating my food, using my money (another issue entirely!) But, what I can't understand is why he has to focus on her. He has to blame her, even having my Father believe that B3's problem is all Amy's fault. She is married now and he still doesn't get that it is and was HER right to pick her life path, even if it means he is not a part of her life. It didn't work out. B3 should move on. Instead, he shows how pathetic he is, that he has no self esteem, and his lack of ability to let go, is just plain scary to women and men alike.

Back in September of 92, I dated a guy who was just over the top. Too soon he was saying all the stuff like I love you, you are the woman for me, you are perfect, you are this, you are that. I'd say things like hey, um that's a little too strong, can you go a little slower. (ala - hey buddy, put a filter on your friggin brain thoughts!) He'd send loving emails (yea back in 92 I used compuserve email!) and when I told him that I was wary of these messages, he said oh I thought you'd like to hear those things, it is what women like to hear. I said, um..... not if they're not real. And it is impossible that they are real, you don't know me well enough! So for a few days he'd be fine, and then he’d be back to the same crap. You see this is his pattern. He was woman hunting. He figured we all love to hear these things and that this is the magic formula to getting a woman. ANY woman. He didn't want me, he wanted what I would be in his life. Someone to take care of him. (oh did I mention, in my unscientific study, Jewish men are especially prone to these kind of behaviors, because they're looking for a mommy.) Someone to plan his life, figure out what to do, etc. Suffice to say that by October, I had told him I couldn't see him anymore. He was a couple city's away, but still he came over to my apartment, buzzed the door trying to get me to let him in. I told him I didn't want to see him anymore. And he persisted. He tried writing more, calling and leaving messages (that is just creepy after a certain period of time!) and about 5 months later, left this nasty message on my phone calling me a bitch, saying I ruined his life, and all that kinda crap. I was relieved, and very grateful thinking FINALLY! And then........ he started up again. I didn't respond, and eventually... he must have found some other woman to bother.

I'd love to say that these types of people are the exception, but not the rule. However, I personally have encountered many people who just don't know how to respect other peoples boundaries and understand if someone doesn’t want to be a part of their life, it is in the best interest for both parties that everyone move on!

I have loved before, and feelings can last a long time. But that doesn't mean I'm entitled to try to force myself into someone else's life just because I HAVE FEELINGS. I know a lot of people are disappointed in choices the person that broke up with them made. But they understand and accept-- and MOVE ON. I know I have had to. It is hard, but I kept my dignity. I'm not a klingon. If someone doesn't want to be involved with me, I will grieve in private, talk to someone I trust, cry, and then... the rainbows and sunshine come back and life goes on. It is all part of the process.

I could go on and on about people like this that I have known in my life, or people my friends or family have known. These klingons think their tenacity will get them their ultimate goal. It may work if their intended targets are weak men or women, after all, there are some people who are so desperate to have someone, ANY someone.

To those of you who are trying to get rid of a klingon:

Do not respond to their manipulations.
DO NOT RESPOND TO THEIR MANIPULATIONS.

Don't feel bad, or think that you're hurting their feelings? Remember. No matter what love yourself more. These people are expert at getting people to do what they want. They don't give a patooty of what you want. And yes, they get frustrated when their manipulations don't work. But maybe it will encourage them to move the hell on.



For the Klingons, I have these suggestions:

If someone says they don't want to see you anymore, believe them.
Don't write, call or keep pulling on their pant leg. They don't want to be involved with you, what part of NO don't you understand? If they find they have made a terrible mistake, believe me, they will call you to tell you they have made a terrible mistake.

Keep your dignity.
It is terribly pathetic to watch you act like a baffoon. It ruins all the good memories we have of you if we see you obsessing. It is very unattractive.

Keep your dignity.
That is important enough to repeat!

Accept their wishes
If someone has broken up with you and doesn't return your call, your email, your text message, your smoke signals, your billboard, your freeway signs, doesn’t accept your flowers, etc.... and you've tried 3 times.. then THEY DON'T WANT TO TALK TO YOU. Please respect that. It is the right thing to do. Otherwise you'll end up in the stalker category and on your way to certain trouble.

Seek professional help
This is not a good behavior for you to have. Get a counselor, talk to them about it. Do anything OTHER than contact the person who has told you they don't want to see you anymore. Don't waste your brain cells, heart or emotional state thinking of these people. Put your energy into something more productive to your life.

I'm sure you're a great gal or guy, but you have to find the right person, silly. Not just anyone will fill that job. And the funny thing is, we don't live in a caveman society, nor do we live in an arranged marriage society, so guess what.... the other person has to feel the same way about you.

PERIOD. Click here to read everything or to PRINT this entry!
- posted by Me! @ 6/27/2006 11:16:00 AM |

 
Yummmmm Yummmmmm
Boys and girls, this blogger received a wonderful delivery from a very special friend of mine today.
For my birthday, she sent wild Alaskan salmon! YOUUUUMMMMYMYMYMy!!!
I am very blessed. Thank you so much. love, me! Click here to read everything or to PRINT this entry!
- posted by Me! @ 6/20/2006 12:02:00 PM |

 
xdrive.com xdrive support is not good
For any of you considering using xdrive.com to back up your PC, let me tell you about my experience.

First, they say there is a 3-4 hour response to email usually. (Cough!) maybe 30-40 days but not hours.

I signed up the end of February, desperate for a way to back up my computer automatically during the night. It is now mid June and have yet to have one successful automated backup. I can say backup now and it appears to back up, however, I got it because it would do it automatically. Also BACKUPS I started manually would often just quit.

I have also had problems where their xdrive software caused fatal errors in win XP Pro.

So today I finally see that they have a phone number. So I call the number, ask for technical support through their automated menu, and get billing. (I thought I was in technical support and was so happy because there was not a long wait for service! I should have known.) Anyhow, the billing guy finally tells me that he's in billing, and he needs me to be forwarded to technical support. So he forwards me there. Of course I go to hold, all operators busy, etc.

Then about a minute into hold, it says please leave a message and someone will get back with you ASAP. Good grief. I want to wait! I'll wait however long! But NO, they won't let you wait. I don't say anything hoping that it will drop me back into the cue, however I ended up in AOL Cityscape message box after that.

I am frustrated that I had to listen to their stupid message saying they will email within 3-4 hours. Well my experiences with them replying is that, well, 30 days later they'll write. I'm still waiting for emails I wrote again earlier this week. THEY DON'T RESPOND.

How can anyone trust their backups to a company like this? What if you need help with a restore? This is a dangerous company if you really want reliable backups. I have been in Information Technology for many years and I know how important it is to be able to get to your data, and backup without worry.

I have had constant worry with xdrive.com xdrive. Xdrive does not pass my test as a product appropriate for such an important thing as backup and restore of your data. With no customer support you are basically screwed. Click here to read everything or to PRINT this entry!
- posted by Me! @ 6/16/2006 08:46:00 AM |

 
found magazine
I found these images on found magazine's website.

Isn't this the nicest note? Whoever she is, you are one lucky girlie, you are loved and appreciated.


Click here to read everything or to PRINT this entry!
- posted by Me! @ 6/13/2006 10:17:00 AM |

 
Boy are the tweeters chirping
What a nice day.... even if my head is exploding from a horrific headache!

The tweeters are singing, it is quiet beyond belief, and my friend is no her way, we're meeting another girlfriend for brunch.

Tonight I have big plans, so a nice sunday is in store for me. Please..... anyone reading this........ pray my headache ends!!!

:)

Have a lovely day. Click here to read everything or to PRINT this entry!
- posted by Me! @ 6/11/2006 11:18:00 AM |

 
My wonderful birthday
Wow, where to start!!

I have had such a wonderful wonderful birthday. The day before, My dear best friend treated me to a trip at the Korean spa. OOOH was that ever wonderful... We laughed our ass off and lazed around buck naked in the salt water pools... then the body scrubadoooooo oooo oooooooooh. And the massage......omygod! And then to a yummy restaurant for a fine dining experience and laughs galore. We never have a hard time talking and laughing.

The next day (my actual BD) I received a phone call from my bf wishing me the best birthday ever (and... promising spankings! lol) and we chatted for a bit. He had invited me out to dinner, however, I reminded him I had school... of course he suggested that I play hookey and celebrate with him! Unfortunately, it was the last day of class (before the final) so I had to go... though ditching was very tempting, I was a good girl and went to class! So we made arrangements to celebrate the next day.

On Wednesday, he came over took me out on a fun and romantic date, we had dinner at such a great restaurant, and enjoyed the evening together. It was so special. I feel like a queen and I'm smiling huge just thihnking about the evening. One of the many things I value in my life is the time I get to spend with him. We always have the best of time, never a dull moment for sure, and I can talk to him about anything under the sun.

It really was so nice. I can't wait for Saturday! woo hoooooo! Click here to read everything or to PRINT this entry!
- posted by Me! @ 6/01/2006 12:13:00 AM |

 
Lovely Saturday - Brilliant Sunday
mmmmm I'm feeling so darn good.

Friday night we went to Dinner with Martin, Gloria, Helene and Xiomara and had an everlastiung BLAST. We always have so much fun with our friends! The night was perfect.

Then Saturday too! Wooo hooo! I made him a lovely dinner of filet minion, grilled asparagus, popcorn cauliflour, and spinach souffle, with a yummy licious salad. For dessert........ um... well aside from the obvious I made German Chocolate Cake.

It was a wonderful evening and this morning I woke up smiling as uusal.

Helene is coming ov er soon... we're going to go to my favorite breakfast place in west los angeles called TOAST.

School is almost done-- thank Goodness. Helene and I took Javascript and ASP.NET. Had a lousey teacher... but you know we are getting an A anyhow. lol

Happy Memorial Day eveyone!!!!!!!! Click here to read everything or to PRINT this entry!
- posted by Me! @ 5/28/2006 11:05:00 AM |

 
and woofie too
Wow.. Things are good here in my world.

Between the amazing mrx, helene, and many other great friends, things here are going well.

Last night I had a dream that mrx & I went walking on the beach with my woofie. Woofie has not been coming in my dreams for awhile now so that was a surprise. It is comforting and it makes me think woofie is still alive.

I have lots of pressure in my world right now, but thankfully I have a few wonderful steam valves too. I am blessed.

I hope everyone out there is doing great. Click here to read everything or to PRINT this entry!
- posted by Me! @ 5/17/2006 01:59:00 AM |

 
the red pig
my bf and I went to a carnival (the HBO TV show), convention this weekend. It was a nice time. We met many of the actors (all the ones we cared to talk to!) as well as the creator, directors, etc.

One of the funny props used in the show was the red pig which when outside rita sue's door meant to her husband she was "entertaining" a paying client and to stay the hell away!

Saturday night while at the auction, he won the pig that was decorating our table. I got a bottle of ne-hi and moxy which I gave to Tara, the 5th grader who was there gracing the conference... she was great!

Anyhow.. I was so happy he won the pig. I figured he'd give it to his friend, who loves pigs. Was I ever surprised to find that pig in my bags last night. It made a tough night, very nice. It is a little plastic red pig piggy bank.. I was touched he gave it to me. Isn't he sweet? Click here to read everything or to PRINT this entry!
- posted by Me! @ 4/25/2006 08:27:00 AM |

 
Aunt Carol 12-14-1940 - 3-11-2006
I know I posted portions of this last wee, but I am reposting it because I have updated it with more details and of course, the final days, in case anyone wants to read it.

My aunt is dying

I found out the first week in January that my Aunt Carol's colon cancer came back. She was diagnosed with Colon cancer in may of 2003. She went through the chemo and had the treatments and in June of 2005 she was declared cancer free. Well on Thanksgiving weekend, 2005 she found a bump on her head. She went to the doctor right away and they found out that it was a malignant tumor on the top of her head, but not brain cancer.

Christmas came and went, and during the week between Christmas and New Years, she was not feeling so well. I found out she was ill on Tuesday, January 3. On January 4,, I drove up to Sunnyvale without telling her. I wanted and needed to see her and I knew if I called, well she would say honey don't worry, you don't have to come up here.

I drove up and she was still working, so when I called, I could not get through. I found a hotel and talked to her in the evening and we made arrangements to meet the next day.

I told her I was in town to see other friends and decided to stop by on my way home. I don't think she believed me, but, how could she turn me away! Her only niece!

So, I saw her for 2 days, she let me take her to her bone scan on Friday. We had a nice lunch at a seafood restaurant across from Stanford, then went up to Aida's special store in Stanford. She could hardly walk, so out of breath she was. I had to leave that afternoon, but I told her I would be back to go with her to the
Oncologist for the results on Wednesday the 11th.

The Oncologist, Dr. Yu, was very nice, but the news he had to share was not. The good news was that she didn't have bone cancer, or brain cancer. However, she had so many tumors in the lungs they couldn't count then, and her liver had so many tumors they couldn't count those either. The liver ones were much larger than the lung tumors, the largest being about 7" long. He told her, in order to extend her life, she needed chemo to reduce the size of the tumors. There were no other treatment offers available due to the number of the tumors and the
fact that they were in so many vital organs, colon and spleen had
tumors too.

Well, throughout this time, I kept my Dad informed about her status and he came up on Saturday the 14th to be with her. I came home for a few days and tried to figure out what I could do to help care for her in the upcoming future.

My Dear Aunt was pretty aware at this time. She laughed and whooped it up, stopping by her favorite watering hole "Beefy's" in Sunnyvale as often as possible.

She had her first chemo about January 23st. She seemed okay, but 3 days later, she was violently ill from the chemo and ended up in El Camino Hospital. She was there over two weeks trying to recover from the chemicals.

The news went from grim to bleak. She was extremely weak, tired, but still chatty and laughing. When the social worker talked to her, she was cracking jokes... it caused her social worker to ask her why she was taking this so lightly. And true to her form, she said in a laughing manner, well what else can I do? When she left the hospital, she went to her friend Joanie's house and prepared to leave for Scottsdale Arizona that Monday the 13th of February. There were things to attend to between Friday and Monday, and my brother John was up there to assist in getting things ready. It was an emotional time while she and her boyfriend of 17 years, Alex said their good bye's.

I was up there visiting her for a few days before she left for Scottsdale. My friend Helene came up on Thursday to meet Carol, then we went up to the City to have a dinner based on Dad and Aunt Carol's recommendation. We went to Aliotos. John came up on Friday and Saturday as well. He was a big help in getting things organized for Aunt Carol and also he helped Alex.

Aunt Carol got out of El Camino Hospital on February 10. She spent the weekend getting ready to fly to Scottsdale on February 13.

When she left the hospital, she went to her friend Joanie's house and prepared to leave for Scottsdale Arizona that Monday the 13th of February. There were things to attend to between Friday and Monday, and my brother John was up there to assist in getting things ready. It was an emotional time while she and her boyfriend of 17 years, Alex said their good bye's.

John and Mary celebrated their Anniversary and then came back that Monday to take Carol, Joanie and Lynn to the airport and secure her house.

She got to Scottsdale and had a doctor appointment on Valentines day. She made it to Joanie's and between Joanie, Lynne and Claudia, she's was in very good hands. They went to the Doctor on the 14th and they found out that there was an experimental treatment program that she was looking into doing. Unfortunately, the medical records being sent from Sunnyvale were the old records, not the most recent test results, so she ended up having to have a lot of tests redone. This took a lot of time to get together.

Lynn, Joanie, and Claudia have been so wonderful working to get her set up here and learning what they need to do to take good care of her. I know how much it means to Aunt Carol to have them with her at this time.

In the mean time, her leg problem became a huge issue and
complication. Her leg and foot swelled to the size of a watermelon and she ended up in the hospital in Scottsdale, AZ for some time.Helene and I made a trip to Arizona on February 21. We visited with Aunt Carol at Scottsdale hospital for 3 days, then went home on Friday, the 24th of February. She finally got the PET scan that afternoon. By Feb 28, she was moved to hospice hospital. (Hospice of the valley). And that is where she is now.

The doctor came to her in Hospice, and while she was alone, she asked why she was there and he stupidly told her because she had brain cancer. Well, the brain cancer was a new development since the January 11th doctor appointment, but still, she had no idea she had brain cancer and she was told while she was alone. She withdrew more. I don't know who taught that doctor manners, but anybody knows you don't give bad news to someone when they're alone.

I returned to Arizona on March 5th and here I sit. Her death is
imminent. Saturday, March 4th she could not be awakened. Everyone was there it seemed! 12 visitors, and all they did was watch her "sleep" until about 4pm when suddenly she woke. Dad, Anne, James, Joanie, Alex (and his troops), Lynne, Claudia, and probably others were there. I was not there but I drove up Sunday the 5th. By the time I arrived, she was tired and Dad said to let her sleep, so I came on Monday morning, March 6th.

I was shocked and amazed at the difference just one week made. She had lost more weight, more hair, her skin, a golden color from the Jaundice that she has from the tumors in her liver. Her beautiful hair disappearing as if it were never there. My Dad and Anne were here as well. So there were lots of visitors. She went outside to have a smoke and sat out for 2 hours while everyone chatted around her. Sometimes she seemed out of it, but let me tell you-- she heard every word. Annie told me that Aunt Carol said she called Grandma Greenwood Sunday night. She seemed happy to have talked to her.

She was tired. Being outside that long was very draining for
her. It turns out that is the last time she will be outside, enjoying the sunshine.

When it came time to go back to her room, at the threshold of the door to her room, she shouted loudly NO, I'm going home. I'm not going back here. It took 15 minutes of coaxing to get her to understand she was not going home just yet. She was very angry and upset with me (since I happened to be there), and when Joanie came in the room, she told her she was upset. I'm sure that upset Joan. But eventually Aunt Carol calmed down. I also met Claudia Monday or Tuesday (the days are starting to meld together). She was in Carol's room when I came back. We chatted about Aunt Carol and how she is the light of Claudia's morning. She, too, will miss Aunt Carol immensely.

Monday afternoon, Dad and Anne left. They said they would return Thursday. Shortly after they left, the nurse Kamal came over and told me that Carol keeps asking if she is dying.

Kamal said that she couldn't really say much to her but she asked me if anyone had told her that this would be her final place, that there is nowhere to go from here, etc. I said, not at this time. We're all keeping it positive. Kamal went on to say how important it is to tell her the truth. To set her free so she does not feel like she has to fight so hard to stay here for the family. That someone needs to tell her the truth.

I said, well that person would have to be my Dad. It is his place to tell her such things. She would need to hear that from him. So I called my Dad while he was at the airport and gave him Kamal's
message. He was not quite ready to hear it... So, that night I stayed with her through the evening. I kissed her good night and told her I would be back Tuesday Morning.

Tuesday was another day of big change for Aunt Carol. She was pretty unintelligible most of the day. Every once in a while her face would light up, her brows raising high in recognition of something. We weren't always sure what she was seeing, or what she was saying.

Kamal was there Tuesday morning and again approached Lynne and myselfon the concept of telling her the truth of her situation. So I calledmy Dad at 10AM and told him again what Kamal said, and that he told me he wanted to be here when the time was here. So, he returned by 4pm Tuesday. Rob and Joy arrived Tuesday afternoon as well. It was nice tosee them, but sad for the occasion. Rob told me that my other brother John would be arriving at 10:30 PM. When my dad arrived, he held her and, talked sweetly to her and then fed her. It was so touching to see him feeding her, taking good care of her and talking so sweet to her. I saw his eyes, glassy, red. He is so sad. He's been a wonderful brother for her, but I get the feeling he doesn't feel like this is enough. He wants to save her. He wants to believe she has more time;
that this can't be it. She's the baby in the family after all. He knew what he had to do for her though and my Dad stepped up to the plate and was strong for her. He showed her how much he loved her and gave her peace and comfort.

I sang many a song to her that night, and she seemed to respond,smiling on occasion and reacting to some of the conversation. Dad left for a bite to eat and my brother Rob, Joy and I stayed with her. When he returned from dinner Rob, Joy and I went to dinner and to go back to our room to give them some time alone together. They needed that time and I sure want my dad to have every last perfect memory he can have with her and of her.

March 8, 2006

Dad stayed with Aunt Carol all night. Holding her hand, dozing, Watching her, and surely giving her strength. She had a tough night. Around 3am she started writhing in extreme pain. There was not much Dad could do but get the attendants. Finally they went to sleep around 4am. Of course I was eager to hear how the night went and I tried to call Dad at 7:45 am. He was kinda groggy sounding and said... we're resting. So I took the hint and hung up!

Lynn arrived around 8am and saw Dad and Carol resting, holding hands and she called me to tell me what a great scene that was.

We started arriving at the hospice about 8:30. John and Mary finally got to say hello (they arrived a little too late to come to the hospice). Aunt Carol was different again from yesterday. She has been pretty non-responsive and she is not moving much. She spent the entire day laying on her side, barely moving. I put a vial of oregano under her nose and and Mary says hey Aunt Carol, here's a piece of Gumba's Pizza.. You should have seen her light up and smile. Her friend "Theatre Kathy" came by and visited. When Carol saw her friend of 30 years, she lit up and immediately smiled. Kathy left and then came back later to say good bye for good. Kathy shared that she and Carol started going to the theatre 30 years ago. Their first theatre event they shared was "Fiddler on the Roof" way back in the day. Every year they subscribed to the theatre and saw Yule Brenner in the King and I, Rex Harrison in My Fair Lady, Dick Van Dyke in the Music Man, Richard Burton in Camelot and many others over the years.

We spent the day as a family hanging around Aunt Carol. About 4pm, we all went to Uncle Sal's Restaurant and shared a meal while Joanie and Lynne stayed with Carol.

During dinner, my eyes started a blethrospasm and it seemed to take forever to come back to normal. We arrived back at the Hospice and my Dad went in to talk to Carol alone. Apparently he told her what she needed to hear. Its okay to let go. Go see Mom and Dad. (I'm not sure exactly what he said since he did not tell me, but that's kind of what I assume he would say, and more of course) We took turns going in her room and having a conversation with her. My conversation was very one-sided. She just doesn't have much ability to respond. I believe she heard most of what we all said.

Now she lays on the bed, my brother Rob, watching her intently. Occasionally involuntary movements of her hands/arms. Rob gave her a massage, and I have never seen him looking so caring, loving and concerned. He is deeply saddened by this, as we all are. I wish I could capture the look on his face as he gazes at her, holding her hand and her head. being still, and sending her love.

I didn't get to see my brother John's converstation with her. I know it was a message full of hope, love and thanks as well. When he came to the family room, his eyes were full and very red.

I know my brother James would have liked to be here but, unfortunately, due to circumstances, he was only able to get up here last weekend. I know his thoughts are of her and that he is sending her his love as well.

We all love her so much. All of us kids want to be there for my Dad, Anne, and her friends. To be there to support Dad and Anne, means the world to us. That's why John and Mary came at a moments notice to get here by today.

I know the time is coming. I hope she is not suffering. I worry so much for my Father, Anne, Joanie, Lynn, Claudia, my brothers. This is the first time we have (as adults) lost someone close in the family. We all find ways to busy ourselves, get lost in our thoughts, I sing, and write, massage her, everyone has gotten addicted to soduko... we talk to her and say how much we love her and of course kiss her lots.

She's always been so kissy-kissy. Tonight is the first time she did not respond to a kiss. Yes, the end is near. Please God, give us strength to help our Dad and everyone else get through this loss.

Before leaving, Dad asked that we leave no later than 10pm. He wants us to get rest, and be ready. The Hospice people will be checking on her regularly and will call immediately if there are significant changes.

So as we left for today (Wednesday, March 8, 2006 at 9:30 PM) We each got a special gift from Aunt Carol who acknowledged each of us, kissing us, and smiling at us. I remember thinking Wow, she did kiss us good bye... we told her we would be there in the morning. She seemed, for those moments to recognize each of us... Me, Rob, Joy (Rob's wife), John, Mary (John's wife). It was hard to leave seeing how she suddenly was present.

But we did. We know she still has much work to do, more processing of her life, more preparation for the next leg of her journey to her real home. She will soon be with Grandma and Grandpa... and of course all the other relatives who have passed on. !

We'll see what tomorrow brings.

March 9, 2006

Well, got to the hospice about 8:30. Rob, John and Dad were there with Carol and she seemed tired. She was sleeping and the guys were being supportive. Rob was holding her hand and her head, John sitting on the other side. The nurse came in and repositioned her and changed her outfit, which is now purple with beige lace.

We took turns sitting with her. When I was sitting by her, she reached for my hand and whispered rub or something like that. So I rubbed her hands, then her back. She seemed to enjoy the attention., she was moaning and smiling. That made me happy. Bonnie from work called. I answered the phone and put it on the speaker. Carol wasn't much into talking but she coujld hear what Bonnie said. At one point, she did get a few words out, not sure if Bonnie heard them but... she did say a few words and she smiled several times when listening to what Bonnie had to say. . I told Bonnie it was an excellent time to call, so a few minutes later, Pat, another friend from work was on the phone. Aunt Carol tried to say something to Pat but I'm not sure if Pat heard her. She recognized and was happy to hear from her workfriends. Since 12:00 she seems to be a little more alert and can be aroused.

Joanie and Lynn arrived at 12:45 and went in for their visit. Dad is sitting here with me in the family room here. Joanie came over and tells us she's a little alert and was asking for him, so we go to her room.

Rob, John, Joy and Mary arrived at 2pm. Dad and Anne left to have some lunch so us kids are here holding the fort. Joy and Rob are doing their soduko puzzles, Mary and John sitting beside her working on their puzzles. John offered Joy a zillion dollars to switch chairs with her and she happily accepted! Its a huge debt he now has with Joy! I was going to do my javascript homework, but alas, I don't have the assignments. So I thought I'd write more.

The nurses just moved her around and now she is laying a little on her left side. I'm not sure if this is the most comfortable position fo rher but she's laying here sleeping. Her skin is getting darker I noticed. Of course a little yellow too. The darkness is due to blood pooling on her backside. There are many changes, she seems to have more involuntary movements of her arms and looks like she's going to curl back up into the fetal position. She is resting as comfortable as she can.

In my mind, the words to the song "I will" by the Beatles keep going through my mind. Claudia gave her this adorable white bear with a purple hat. The Bear was named Crystal by Aunt Carol. When you press her hand she sings the song

Who knows how long I've loved you
You know I love you still
Will I wait a lonely lifetime
If you want me to--I will.

For if I ever saw you
I didn't catch your name
But it never really mattered
I will always feel the same.

Love you forever and forever
Love you with all my heart
Love you whenever we're together
Love you when we're apart.

And when at last I find you
Your song will fill the air
Sing it loud so I can hear you
Make it easy to be near you
For the things you do endear you to me
You know I will
I will.

I hear the tune in my head over and over! It makes me cry.

A very nice woman came and played the harp tonight. I wish I could remember her name (Daniele?) We played the traditional songs including some Beatles and sang. Carol seemed to really enjoy the singing. It was a nice way to end the evening.

I went and got some sandwiches for John and I. Rob and Joy arrived later for a visit. We hung around till after 10PM. John stayed the night with Aunt Carol who seemed quite peaceful.

March 10, 2006

Aunt Carol has not moved much other than when the attendants came. I got there quite late as I was unable to sleep the prior night. And finally when I did sleep, some YA-HOoo called the phone to the hotel. It caused me some anxiety wondering if it was the people from the hospice. I was searching for the card trying to find the number to call and check on things. Then it dawned on me that the hospice and my brothers don't have the hotel number I'm at. Finally I calm down and get a little more sleep in. I kept waking up though. At 9am, I called the hotel and asked for a wakeup at 11:30, since I had spoken with John and found out she was doing about the same.

Finally I did get some sleep. I got to the hospice about 1 and saw a beautiful boquet of flowers from her work. They were red-orange tulips and simply gorgeous.

It reminded me to have Joanie call her work and tell them what was going on with Aunt Carol. I'm sure they appreciated knowing.

She really didn't react too much all of Friday. I left at 7PM to go home to do some stuff that had to be dealt with on Saturday, planning a return Saturday night or Sunday Morning depending on how I felt.

When I left, Dad, Rob, and John were all there. I believe John stayed again with her that night.

The next morning I talked with my Dad and he said her breathing was shallow. While I was doing what I needed to do, I got a call from John about Noon, that Aunt Carol passed away at 11:20 am March 11, 2006. Ironically, 2 months to the day that Dr. Yu said she would live back on January 11.

Later, I talked with Anne who said that she was with her and noticed increased problems and called my Dad to come back. He was there and talked with her, apparenty she repsonded in some way and then was gone.

She leaves behind a wonderful brother, my Dad his wife Anne, my 3 brothers, and me. And of course Anne's 2 children and one grandson. Brother#1's wife , his 2 children, and her 2 kids, and Brother#2's wife and their 2 doggies, and brother#3's daughter. Of course other non-immediate family members all over the united states. But that is just the tip of the iceberg of the people in her life that she is leaving behind. Alex, Joanie, Lynn, Claudia, Theatre Kathy, All the people from work, her favorite places, Beefy's, and all the people she has touched through the years. I surely don't claim to know them all.

She is a true diamond in this world. She sparkled everywhere she went, loved to laugh, be silly, she was kind and generous with her heart. She was so very caring and loving to her friends and family and you know, the world desperately needs people like her. She lived her life to the fullest, and in Grace.

I know she is in a better place now, she's not in pain, she is with her Mom and Dad and all the rest of her friends and family who have passed on.

I love you Aunt Carol. I know you're going to be up to some mischief up there, laughing and carrying on watching over us. You know when to look away, right? :) God bless you. Click here to read everything or to PRINT this entry!
- posted by Me! @ 3/13/2006 05:41:00 PM |

 
so many things to say
its just hard to put it all down in writing. Its been a difficult year since my Aunt has found out about her cancer... I feel sad, and am already at a loss since I have not spent that much time with her in my life. We take so much for granted.. She's had a full life.. always a up for a party, my Aunt has had tons of fun. But its hard to see her in the hospital, looking the way she does. Yesterday we started to watch 40 year old virgin, and she grabbed my hand and we just sat there... while she squeezed my hand. I realize... there is not a lot of time left. Her cancer is growing and she is choosing no further treatment. She doesn't want hospice right now either. I think she doesn't want to have it because it seems like she's closer to the end if she has it.

my bf has been such a big support and help to me during this time. He always is, actually. I have much going on and when I wonder how I'm gonna get through it all, I hear his calm voice... and listen to his sage advice. I am blessed. Click here to read everything or to PRINT this entry!
- posted by Me! @ 2/09/2006 12:18:00 PM |

 
How to Stay Young - food for thought!

How to Stay Young

1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height.
   Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay them.
   
2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down. (keep this In mind
   if you are one of those grouches;)
   
3. Keep learning:
   

   
   Learn more about the computer, crafts,
   gardening, whatever. Never let the brain get
   idle.
   "An idle mind is the devil's workshop."
   And, the devil's name is Alzheimer's!

   
   
4. Enjoy the simple things.
   
5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath. And if you have a friend who makes you laugh, spend lots and Lots of time with HIM/HER.
   
6. The tears happen:
   

   Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person
   who is with us our entire lives, is ourselves.
   LIVE while you are alive.

   
   
7. Surround yourself with what you love:
   

   Whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.

   
   
8. Cherish your health:
   

   
   If it is good, preserve it.
   If it is unstable, improve it.
   If it is  beyond what you can improve, get help.

   
   
9. Don't take guilt trips.
   

   Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county, to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.

   
   
10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.
    

  
"Love all, trust a few. 

Do wrong to none."

William Shakespeare 

Click here to read everything or to PRINT this entry!
- posted by Me! @ 1/31/2006 03:05:00 PM |

 
Stressful week
Its been a stressful week. I'm so worried about my aunt, and other things are constantly plaguing my mind. But there are so many darn blessings too. Its weird how things can be such a mixed bag. I wonder how many others experience this. Your days are good and bad.... so its hard to be depressed about it all, since the plusses are there! I guess that's a good blessing, otherwise, who would want to even go on at times! I am very fortunate... and looking for a good recipe for chicken lasagna if anyone happens to have one! Click here to read everything or to PRINT this entry!
- posted by Me! @ 1/25/2006 10:13:00 PM |